Category Archives: Everyday Life

Topics related to the world we live in

Career Advice

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At age 48, I’m over the halfway hump in my career. I’ve been an engineering (and now IT) professional for 24 years, and I envision retiring in another 15 years (give or take a few). Not that anyone has asked, but as I interact with younger coworkers, I’ve thought about what I might say if I were asked for career advice. Here’s what I think I would say.

  • Get God right. What you value most is your god. There is only one true God, and lots of false gods. If you “believe in God” but give more energy and focus to your career than to God, then you don’t worship God, you worship a false god. Money, power, prestige, or any other measure of a “successful” career won’t provide lasting satisfaction. If you want a satisfying career, then get your satisfaction from the Bread of Life (John 6:35).
  • Become an expert.  Don’t make it your goal to climb the ladder or earn more money. Instead, focus on becoming really good at your job. If you do that, the opportunities and compensation will follow. It’s not enough to just know how to do something. Be the person who knows how to do it right, the reasons for the required do’s and don’ts, and how to fix things when something goes wrong. Don’t just collect experience. People with experience are a dime a dozen. Experts are rare. Avoid jumping from job to job in order to try new things. Learn new things in your current job by digging deep and figuring things out. Don’t let “I don’t know” be a barrier. Take the time to study, learn, and understand. Be a historian; uncover the history of why things are the way they are. Understand the relationships and dependencies between processes, departments, equipment, etc. Become the person people come to when they need help. Using your expertise to help others makes you a valuable asset and makes a job enjoyable.

  • Be humble and generous with your expertise.  People won’t come to you for help if you’re not humble and generous. There’s a big difference between an expert and a know-it-all. Acquiring expertise requires learning, and learning requires humility. Helping others means sharing your expertise, not keeping it to yourself. Some people have the mistaken notion that if they’re the only ones who can do something it gives them job security. But the reality is that no one is irreplaceable, and you’re a more valuable asset when you’re a team player. Help others be successful by teaching, showing, and sharing. Don’t worry about “protecting” your expertise or getting the credit. When you’re a team player and the team is successful because of your contributions, the reward will come. When you help others be successful, everyone benefits.
  • Get God right.  Bad bosses, bad coworkers, bad economies, bad situations at home, etc. are sometimes a reality. When you’re overloaded with expectations you can’t meet, facing obstacles you can’t overcome, stressed by decisions that you don’t know how to make, remember that your career is not the source of your satisfaction. “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.”1  As someone has said, “don’t sweat the small stuff,” and when you get your priorities straight, you realize that a career is part of the “small stuff” (Philippians 3:8).

  1. https://thewestminsterstandard.org/westminster-shorter-catechism/ ↩

Pick Your Joneses

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Christians are instructed not to be lovers of money (2 Tim. 3:2, 1 Tim. 6:10). We are instructed not to store up treasure on earth (Matt. 6:19), and to be content with what we have (Heb. 13:5). We are not to love the “stuff” (things) the world has to offer (1 John 2:15).

This is no easy task. Our sinful tendencies towards covetousness, greed, selfishness, etc. are easily inflamed and influenced by the world around us. And for many of us, we’re exposed to and surrounded by a great deal of wealth. If we are not highly intentional about our lifestyle and spending choices, it will be difficult to resist the impulse to “keep up with the Joneses.”

So, I have a suggestion: pick your Joneses. Not that you should try to “keep up” with anyone, but be aware of the natural human tendency to define “normal” based on the company you keep. If you happen to be able to afford a $1M house, perhaps there are good reasons to purchase a $1M house, but you will have to fight the tendency to assume that owning $100k cars and boats and other “toys” is normal since that’s how your neighbors will live. Even if you are intentionally not “keeping up with the Joneses,” your benchmark for “normal” is likely set by those around you. While your neighbors may trade in their Mercedes for a new one every 2 years, you are “content” to keep your 5-year-old Mercedes. But would you be content driving a 10-year-old Kia?

Assume that the Christian who earns $1M/year, the Christian who earns $100k/year, and the Christian who earns $25k/year are all living within their means and all believe that they are avoiding “extravagant” or “lavish” living. But they all have different definitions of what “extravagant” and “lavish” mean. If you are only living conservatively in comparison to your peers, then are your spending habits and lifestyle really determined by the application of Biblical principles, or are they determined by the world?

Maybe you could afford a $1M house, but you choose to buy a $250k house in a neighborhood where the average house is $200k. Maybe you could afford a $100k car, but you choose to buy a $30k car (whereas the average car in your neighborhood is a $15k car). You now have the most expensive house and car in the neighborhood, but you have less “peer pressure” to upgrade than if you were living “conservatively” in the $1M neighborhood.

This is what I mean by “picking your Joneses.” If all your friends like to eat at steakhouses with white tablecloths, your natural tendency will probably be the same. If all your friends like to eat at McDonald’s, your natural inclination to eat at “fancy” restaurants will likely be different. It’s just human nature to make judgments on a comparative basis, and those comparisons are based on what you consider “normal.” So, when you’re making lifestyle choices, don’t just consider what you can afford. Perhaps give some thought to the unavoidable influence that your peers have on you.

(A similar idea is to make it your goal to live in such a way that you are pursuing “downward mobility.”)

The Unity Scale

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Christians are called to unity. (John 17:21-23, Romans 12:5, 1 Corinthians 1:10, etc.). Unity requires harmony, like-mindedness, having things in common. However, until we are perfected in glory, there is an inverse relationship between the number of people with whom we have unity and the number of things about which we are unified. For example, if I state that “it’s good to be happy,” this is something that almost everyone can agree on. However, as soon as I add to that statement (for example, “watching the St. Louis Cardinals win makes me happy”), the size of the group that is in agreement will shrink.

So, in our pursuit of unity, there is a balance between pursuing unity with the maximum number of other Christians possible and pursuing unity in as many areas as possible. In the new heavens and new earth, there will be 100% agreement over all things with all people. In our current fallen world, we sometimes have to choose between limited unity with more people or more unity with fewer people.

If you take the route of pursuing unity with the maximum number of other Christians, you will find that the number of things about which you are unified must be relatively small. This can lead to a pretty anemic version of Christianity, where “doctrine” consists of little more than platitudes.

On the other hand, trying to achieve unity in as many areas as possible can lead to isolation. One of the connotations of “fundamentalism” is the idea that you only associate with those who share your opinions on just about everything. When you can’t come to agreement on an issue, you splinter off into smaller and smaller groups.

A healthy approach is not simply to find the “midpoint” where you have a reasonable level of unity with a reasonable group of believers, but to have a balance of both types of unity: a mix of basic unity with the larger body of Christ and a smaller group of believers with whom you can enjoy deeper unity on more levels. If all of your unity with other believers is at a very basic level, you’re probably lacking in doctrinal depth and missing out on the joy of pursuing and discussing rich theology with others who are likeminded. If all your unity with other believers is with a small group of others who agree with you on almost all matters, you’re probably missing out on the diversity within the body of Christ and you’re probably not being sufficiently challenged to love, respect, and work together with those who hold different convictions than you.

Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say

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What are “bad words” and why are they bad?

My daughter is 6.  She is pretty sheltered, but as her exposure to the world widens and her vocabulary expands, she will start to notice some language that we don’t want her to repeat.  This has got me thinking about how best to explain to her why some words are “bad.”

Parental advisories for TV shows, movies, music, etc. usually address sexual content, violence, “adult” themes (including substance abuse), and language.  Problematic language can include swearing, cursing, “cussing,” profanity, obscenities, and maybe some other similar words such as expletives or “strong” language.  Are these all synonyms or do they have different meanings?  Why should such words be avoided?

Let’s start with some definitions:

Cursing (aka “cussing”): To curse someone is to wish something bad upon them.  It is not our place to condemn (“damn”) anyone or anything.  We are not the Creator.  God says “Vengeance is mine; I will repay” (Hebrews 10:30, Romans 12:19, Deuteronomy 32:35).  Rather, we are called to love even our enemies (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27,35, Romans 12:20).

Swearing: To swear on or by something is to denote the seriousness (solemnity) of our statement by association with the seriousness of the object/place/person being sworn on or by.  We have an obligation to speak truthfully at all times.  Attempting to make some speech more impactful by accentuating it with “swearing” implies that our words themselves are insufficient and casts doubt on our commitment to be truthful in everything we say.  Instead of showing our “seriousness” by drawing on the seriousness of something outside of ourselves, we should simply let our “Yes be yes and our No, No” (Matthew 5:33-36, James 5:12).

Profanity:  The essence of profanity is treating anything holy and sacred as if it were not.  Profane speech is speech that does not show God the reverence he deserves.  The name of God is holy and must be treated with reverence (Deuteronomy 10:20).  To use God’s name in a trivial manner (Exodus 20:7) or to associate God with anything that is not true profanes his name (Leviticus 19:12); it sullies his perfect righteousness and dishonors him. 

Obscenity:  Something that is obscene is something that is put on display that should not be put on display (Ephesians 5:12).  Most often, this has to do with things of a sexual nature.  Part of keeping the bed of marriage undefiled (Hebrews 13:4) is keeping it private.  Sexual intimacy is not something to be shared or brought out in public (Ezekiel 16:36, 23:18) or even talked about in a way that destroys its intimacy (Ephesians 5:4).

Vulgarity:  If any “bad” words could be defended, it would be those in this last category.  After all, the original meaning of “vulgar” was simply “characteristic of or belonging to the masses,” which was why the churchmen who wrote the Westminster Confession of Faith in 1646 advocated for the Scriptures “to be translated into the vulgar language of every nation.”  However, the more modern definition of vulgarity is of things that are tasteless, crass, crude, and generally offensive.  This could involve some overlap with the previous categories, but I am thinking primarily of words that do not fall into one of the other categories.  This would include scatological terms that are generally recognized as being indecent.  One might argue that this falls into the category of “filthy language” prohibited by Colossians 3:8.  The contents of this category could be more subject to the changing standards of what is considered “decent,” but Christians should always seek to be polite, courteous, kind, and avoid speech that is not wholesome or gracious (Ephesians 4:29, Colossians 4:6).  What comes out of our mouth is an indicator of what is in our inmost being, and our hearts and minds should be saturated with things that are pure and lovely (Philippians 4:8).

Other: Perhaps you can think of “bad” words that don’t seem to fall into one of the categories above. An example might be certain words that demean a person’s parentage. The admonitions to love our neighbor, love our enemy, and speak wholesome, gracious words extend to this “other” category also.

The Side of Silence

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It is not uncommon (especially in recent days) to hear someone make a public statement that includes comments along the lines of “I just couldn’t stay silent any longer.”

One of the tactics used to encourage others to chime in and voice their support for the issue at hand is the accusation that to remain silent is to be “on the wrong side of history” . . . that silence is tacit approval of the “evil” being denounced.  There are two famous quotes to this effect, one misattributed to Dietrich Bonhoeffer (“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”)1, and another misattributed to Edmund Burke (“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”)2.

Not-Bonhoeffer and Not-Burke are right that staying on the sidelines is not an option.  Silence cannot be equated with neutrality.  Declining to publicly proclaim your stance on a particular issue or conflict does not mean that you are not “helping” one side or the other.  The question is, which side is bolstered by your silence?

If you don’t make it a point to say #BlackLivesMatter, does that mean you’re okay with racism?
   or
If you don’t object to the #BLM movement, is that an indication that you’re okay with Critical Race Theory and Marxist ideology?

If you refuse to put a rainbow on your profile pic, does that mean you’re a homophobic bigot?
   or
If you don’t speak up against gay marriage, does that mean you’re on-board with allowing the sexual revolution to continue unabated?

Depending on the situation, your silence could benefit either side of these divisive issues. It requires wisdom and insight to recognize whose side will benefit the most from your silence.  The answer to that question may well depend on the context of your situation, who the audience is, what type of platform you have, etc.  However, do not mistake silence for neutrality.

On two occasions, Jesus addressed the actions and attitudes of those who were not his followers.  Despite not being his followers, neither group was neutral.  In one case he claimed them as allies (Mark 9:40 – “the one who is not against us is for us”), whereas in the other case he proclaimed them to be his adversaries (Matthew 12:30 – “whoever is not with me is against me”).

The determining factor was not based on their issuance of a public statement proclaiming their affiliation with Jesus or their opposition to Jesus.  Neither was their “side” determined by their failure to issue a public statement declaring themselves for or against Jesus.  Instead, it was their actions and attitudes that made the difference.

What actions and attitudes are you putting on display?  Are you furthering the cause of Jesus or the world?

  1. https://www.wthrockmorton.com/2016/08/25/the-popular-bonhoeffer-quote-that-isnt-in-bonhoeffers-works/ ↩

  2. https://checkyourfact.com/2019/06/05/fact-check-edmund-burke-triumph-evil-good-men/ ↩