Random thoughts on marriage and relationships in general…

Orginally posted 10/14/2004 on bibleforums.org:

I think it’s probably best for two people to be at relatively the same spiritual maturity, or at least on the same trajectory. Being unequally yoked doesn’t have to just mean believer w/ non-believer, it could also be spirit-led believer w/ carnal believer.

I believe God intends for the husband to be the spiritual leader in a marriage, but I don’t think this has anything to do with spiritual maturity. Being the leader means taking initiative and setting the pace, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are the stronger Christian of the two.

On being “unequally yoked…”

Originally posted 2/8/2005 on bibleforums.org:

2 Cor. 6:14-18 does not refer specifically to marriage; certainly it can be applied to a marriage relationship, but it also pertains to other relationships and activities as well. The critical factor is that in order for two or more people to effectively pursue Christ, they need to be united in their motivation and direction. If two people have different life purposes, or are heading in two different directions, they should not be bound together in a relationship. This could be a marriage relationship, a business relationship, or even a social relationship. This does not mean we should not have non-Christian friends, or do business with non-Christians; it means we should not make a commitment to “do life together” with someone who will attempt to lead us in a direction that is in conflict with our desired path.

While the most obvious example of an unequal yoke would be a believer with a non-believer, I think the same principle also applies even for people who profess Christianity. Someone who is a nominal Christian with no desire to grow in their knowledge of Christ, could be a hinderance to a spouse who is trying to follow Christ with all their heart. The “level” of their spiritual maturity is a minor point; what really matters is the trajectory that they’re on.